If I can recommend you do 1 low-effort thing for the love of God it is this:
Keep 5 cards in your pocket. One will say “yes”, the second will say “no.”
If you lose your voice, or lose speech, or want to make a dramatic embellishment at the right time, it is an elegant and efficient solution that is right there at hand.
But what if people question you from there? “Why do you have that card? Why would you do this? How long have you had that in your pocket?” For this, or whatever else they say, the third card: “I don’t have a card for that.”
“What the fuck,” they ask. They laugh. They are bemused. You bring the energy back down with the fourth card: “I have laryngitis. I’ve lost speech. My throat hurts”. Whatever you expect to occur.
The joke is over. Rule of threes. Now they are curious. YThey wonder about logistics. “How did you know I would say that? Is everyone so predictable?”
As a three-part bit, nobody ever sees the fifth card coming.
“I have powerful wizard magics.”
Gets them every time
On it boss!!
[id: a set of 5 UNO cards upon which has been written, “Yes”, “no”, “I don’t have a card for that”, “can’t talk right now 😢”, and “I have powerful wizard magics 🙂”. End id]
Vegans of tumblr, listen up. Harvesting agave in the quantities required so you dont have to eat honey is killing mexican long-nosed bats. They feed off the nectar and pollinate the plants. They need the agave. You want to help the environment? Go back to honey. Your liver and thyroid will thank you, as well. Agave is 90% fructose, which can cause a host of issues. Bye.
So let me get this straight ,vegans should stop eating the food of the Mexcian long-nosed bats, because the bats need it, and instead vegans should instead eat honey, the food of bees, that their larvae need, even though the bee populations are facing ecological issues as it stands.
10/10 post, dude.
Did you forget the whole part where only excess is taken and all their needs are met and then some orrrr?
Like, did you read it orrrrr?
Anyway, BUY HONEY SAVE BEES
It is a 10/10 post. Because OP is right.
Bees do not suffer when beekeepers take their honey, because experienced beekeepers do not take all of their honey, in fact, they leave plenty of honey left for the bees to consume over the winter. If we do not collect their honey, 1 of two things will happen.
1. they will leave for a bigger home. Which at first seems fine until you remember that bees are dying very quickly out in the wild.
or
2. They will start using the areas that they reserve for their young as a place to make more honey. This is bad because if no more young are being produced, then the hive will start to die out because no new workers are coming into the world, and the average live only 150 days, so it would also mean the loss of more bees.
So yeah, eating honey isn’t inhumane at all. In fact, you’re helping the bees by eating what they produce and giving money to the bee keepers who are the ones making sure that the hive will keep being healthy.
LOUDER FOR THE VEGANS IN THE BACK: use honey, not agave! Bees need your support and other animals need agave! Using honey means more bees!!
Other animal products that are absolutely fine to use because they produce it in excess:
- Wool. Sheep need to be sheared or their wool will get excessively large, matted and gross. Its legit just a haircut. Calm down and use wool instead of whatever fake acrylic microplastic shit they have in stores now. Wool is super warm, insulating, and guess what! It grows back! Its a renewable resource and all the sheep want in return is some good pasture and protection from predators.
- Eggs. I’m not talking about storebought eggs. Go to your local farmer’s market. Find someone around with chickens/ducks. These birds produce eggs literally every day and will not stop unless they are molting, brooding, or kept in the dark for most of the day. Like I am not joking when I say you can very easily find someone with poultry and they will beg you to take some eggs. Theres so many. Please. Take some duck eggs. I dont want them. I had 8 laying ducks last year. Thats 8 eggs every day. Thats 2 dozen eggs every THREE DAYS. Thats SO MANY EGGS PLEASE TAKE SOME EGGS
Reducing animal cruelty does not mean abolish the use of animal products. Go eat honey. Go use wool. Go find a friend with birds and eat eggs, or get your own. Just because it comes from an animal does not make it cruel.
if you are dealing with extreme heat or even just. moderate heat in your area right now. 80f/26c is when it starts getting toasty for a lot of people. if you are in a heat wave and you have not done yourself the favor of googling fucking “heat exhaustion symptoms” i am shaking you violently right now. look it up. burn the symptoms into your brain. heatstroke is no joke and it can and WILL sneak up on you before you’re aware it’s even an issue. ohh my god
if you are outside and it is hot and sunny and you are sweating thru your clothes or feeling tired or starting to get irrationally agitated or upset in another way or feeling nauseous or your heart is pounding etc etc if you are feeling Weird and Bad for no apparent reason while you are in a warm/hot area then i have news for you! you need to cool down! right now! oh my god.
and there’s a very good chance that you’re gonna think “it’s not heat exhaustion, i don’t feel any warmer than i have all day” when you consider it as a reason why you are suddenly feeling weirdbad for no apparent reason during a record-breaking heatwave and i would like to say. there is no harm in sitting in the shade and drinking some water even if heat exhaustion isn’t the cause of whatever ailment is inflicting itself upon u. once i swore up and down to my bf that i was just kinda tired and headachy and got bitchy about the possibility of being overheated and needing to drink water. because heat exhaustion tends to make you bitchy. but i did as he asked and drank some cold water and my condition immediately improved. because it was heat exhaustion and heat exhaustion is evil and a liar. sit down. drink water
